


Yearn No More

by jadztone



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst and Feels, Christmas, F/F, F/M, Fandom Trumps Hate, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Multi, New Year's Eve, POV Keiko, POV Kira, POV Miles, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, do not copy to another site, established relationship julian/miles, established relationship keiko/miles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22020946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadztone/pseuds/jadztone
Summary: Keiko and Miles keenly miss Nerys when she moves out after Yoshi is born. After learning of her breakup with Shakaar, they see it as an opportunity to open up to her about polyamory. Meanwhile Miles can’t understand why Julian has become cold and distant, missing his friend and lover. When he finds out the reason why, he is horrified, relieved, and filled with guilt.  As the clock counts down the Terran New Year, these four residents of Deep Space Nine are finally able to let their hearts be light.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Miles O'Brien, Keiko O'Brien/Miles O'Brien, Kira Nerys/Keiko O'Brien/Miles O'Brien
Comments: 28
Kudos: 68





	Yearn No More

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve written this for a Fandom Trumps Hate contributor, who suggested several ideas and poly ships. The main plot was inspired by the Kira pregnancy storyline as it is the most natural progression to a poly relationship for Kira and the O’Briens. The side plot came as I realized that for part of these events, Julian wasn’t actually Julian. I’ve played around with the timeline (most notably the Shakaar breakup), and changed the entire tone of one particular canon conversation.
> 
> I am basing the poly dynamic on things I’ve been told over the years by poly friends and articles on how to depict polyamory in stories. If I’ve messed anything up in a harmful way PLEASE tell me.

As Molly went to her room to play for a bit before dinner, Keiko sat down next to a sleeping Yoshi with a PADD to work on tweaking her speech. She was presenting in a couple of days at a polycom for the Federation Society of Xenobotanists. It was rather gratifying that she was getting so much attention for her work on Bajor, although some of it she knew was due to her proximity to the wormhole. Her colleagues often hinted that the Gamma quadrant must hold many untold wonders, but Keiko could only shake her head at their ignorance. You’d have to have your head in the soil not to understand that it was an impossibility right now. 

She was deep into an edit of one particularly frustrating passage when she heard the door whoosh. Her lips curved into a smile. She’d been eagerly awaiting her husband’s return all day so she could give him the news. She felt a little bit guilty about viewing it as ‘good’ news when she knew that Nerys was feeling anything but good at the moment. 

Keiko felt empathy for the pain that Nerys was experiencing right now, but privately thought this had been a long time coming. Nerys was not cut out for long-distance relationships. She thrived on regular attention and affection. Keiko was convinced that one of the reasons she settled for dating people not on the station was because it allowed her to concentrate on her duties to the detriment of personal needs. Nerys had admitted as much one night during a hormonal crying jag while she was pregnant. She wondered whether she was unable to fully commit to someone, and therefore chose people she could keep at a distance.

Keiko had smiled to herself at the irony, given Nerys was tucked into her arms when she said it. She assured Nerys that it was more like she had such an ingrained sense of duty to Bajor that she felt guilty taking time for herself. What Keiko hadn’t said out loud was that this same sense of duty was probably why she felt drawn to Bareil and Shakaar – they had that same commitment to Bajor as well, and wouldn’t ask of her more than she could give.

Keiko knew that deep down this wasn’t what Nerys really wanted. She deserved someone who could be there for her all the time, who would support the work that she does _and_ provide respite when she needed it. 

Keiko snapped out of her reverie when she felt warm lips on the side of her neck, and a strong arm circle her torso. “Honey, I’m home,” was growled into her ear. 

Keiko beamed in delight. “Good evening, Miles. I hope you had a good day.”

Miles sighed as he circled around the couch, gave Yoshi a soft peck on the forehead, then settled in next to her. “It had its ups and downs. Captain Sisko is excited about the alterations I proposed for the pylon defenses. I’d say Odo was excited as well, but you know how he is. I’m almost definitely sure he was pleased, but who can tell? We’ll get started on the modifications tomorrow.”

Keiko gave him a kiss on the temple. “What did Nerys think?”

His brow furrowed, Miles tilted his head back and forth. “I want to say she was pleased as well, but she seemed preoccupied.”

Keiko let out a gust of air. “I know why that is. I ran into her during her mid-day break. She said I could tell you, but wants to avoid it becoming fodder for gossip. She broke up with Shakaar.”

Miles’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?? It was only a few weeks ago we saw him at our son’s birth.”

Keiko shrugged one shoulder. “I told you that it was only a matter of time. You saw the way his lateness delayed the delivery, and his jealous behavior towards you. Symptoms of a relationship already in trouble.”

Miles worried his lower lip with his finger. “But what if this isn’t a real breakup? She’s been feeling depressed since the birth, feeling detached from the family despite our attempts to keep her involved. What if she’s pushing _everyone_ away, not just us.”

Keiko winced at the memory of Nerys packing and leaving after the baby was born, despite their attempts to convince her to stay. Ever since, Keiko has felt bereft, unable to fully celebrate her son’s arrival. Like she’d been forced to trade one new family member for another. She wanted them _both_. “I think the depression is hastening the inevitable.” She sighed. “I wish that she would quit being so stubborn and spend more time here…with Yoshi…with us. She’s got it into her head that she’s intruding on family time. She _is_ our family, Miles.”

Miles put his arm around her and squeezed. “There’s no reasoning with her sometimes.”

Keiko glared at him. “It’s a trait she shares with you!”

Miles grinned. “And somehow you find us both irresistible.”

Keiko rolled her eyes. “I’m also drawn to plants that are stubborn about growing. I guess I’m a masochist.” She sighed again. “I can’t help but think we went about this all wrong. We should have told her we’re poly a long time ago. Then she would understand why her fear of being a third wheel isn’t relevant. She might have stayed, even if it was just platonic because of Shakaar.”

Miles shook his head. “I dunno if she’d have gone for that. She’s far too attracted to us. Knowing we’re poly and both want to be with her in that way…it would have put even more of a strain on her relationship with Shakaar, and the last thing I wanted was to be the reason for their split.”

Keiko reached over and squeezed his hand. “You’re right, and I know you made the right call not going to Bajor with her. I shouldn’t have pushed for it, it was selfish. I still feel selfish being happy that they broke up, but at least we weren’t the reason.”

They sat in contemplative silence for a bit. Miles tapped his finger on his thigh. “So…you think we should invite her to dinner? She’s got to be feeling pretty low. Seeing Yoshi should cheer her up.”

Keiko smiled up at him. “I already did. She said no, but agreed to come over tomorrow. It’s her day off and I asked if she would help keep an eye on the baby while Molly and I trim the Christmas tree. I figure I can ply her with hot cocoa and oh-so-casually show her our album from our last Christmas on the Enterprise.”

Miles smiled slowly. “She’ll see pictures of L’wir and Eshe and ask about them. Clever.”

Keiko nodded. “It’s too soon to make any proposals to her, but we can at least plant the idea. If she asks questions, is it okay if I mention Julian? Do you think he’d mind?”

Miles looked pensive. “I don’t think so. He never really seemed to care if anyone found out, we just didn’t make a big deal out of it. Leeta knew, of course, and I’m sure Quark figured it out.”

Keiko smirked. “Some of those holosuite programs you requested must have made it obvious to him.”

Miles snorted, then his expression darkened again. “It’s been awhile since we fired up the likes of ‘The Spy Who Fucked Me.’”

Keiko bit her lip. She knew what he was thinking about, and she hated to see her husband in pain. “Oh Miles, I know it stings, but please remember he’s not rejecting _you_. He told you he’s in a new relationship and this person doesn’t want to share. We always knew that was a possibility. It was the main reason why he never moved in with us.”

Miles scowled. “Don’t you think I know that? If it was just about being cut off sexually, I’d probably take it better. But he doesn’t confide in me anymore. We still do darts and racquetball, but no more holosuite…not even the buddy adventures. No more long discussions over lunch, at least not the personal kind. He’ll happily chat away about work, asking me all kinds of questions about what I’m working on. But it’s not the same. He zones out if I talk about the family, and he won’t answer any questions about this person he’s seeing. I’ll be honest, Keiko, I don’t think he’s really with anyone. I’ve never seen him on a date. I think he’s distancing himself from me, and I think it has to do with how preoccupied I’ve been with getting ready for the baby. And I was telling him about our growing feelings for Nerys, so maybe he thought I was trying to replace him.”

Keiko rubbed her hand along his arm. “Did you try asking him about it?”

Miles’s scowl deepened. “Of course, but anytime I try to bring it up he turns into a brick wall or feigns an excuse to leave. He won’t talk about it at all.”

Keiko’s heart sank. She didn’t want to say it out loud, but she wondered if Miles was right. She hadn’t seen Julian out with anyone either, but then she hasn’t seen much of him at all in the last couple of weeks since he came back from that conference on Meezan IV. He was in attendance at the beginning of Kira’s first time in labor, and then never came back. The Bajoran doula handled everything perfectly, but it would have been nice if Julian had been there. According to Miles, he barely reacted when he told him about the birth.

Keiko worried that if they do succeed in folding Nerys into their family, that would just serve as validation of Julian’s feelings. It was common for this to happen with people not used to poly relationships. They feel possessive, don’t communicate, see new additions as usurpers. She took a deep breath. “I don’t want to give you false hope, but I also don’t want you to give up. I say keep pursuing your friendship with Julian without any expectation that it will go back to the way it was. If he does come around, you’ll be pleasantly surprised. If not…at least you have his friendship.” Miles nodded morosely.

*

Keiko was enormously pleased to see the sparkle back in Nerys’s eyes. When she first arrived to look after Yoshi, she was clearly down in the dumps. Some quality time with the baby and watching Keiko and Molly trim the tree had cheered her up. Keiko was relieved that she acquiesced to the offer of hot cocoa. She was eager to show Nerys the album.

As they sat down on the couch, and settled in to drink their beverages, Keiko turned on the large PADD to show Nerys the collection of images from Christmases past. They started off with the previous year, but Keiko was getting impatient, so she adopted a wistful look that was not entirely feigned. “I think during the holidays is when I miss the Enterprise the most. Seeing pictures of just the three of us, it’s more obvious that our family has shrunk.”

Nerys’s brow wrinkled and she looked concerned. “Shrunk? In what way? I don’t recall you ever telling me about anyone passing away.”

Keiko gave her a reassuring look. “Oh no, nothing like that. Here, let me show you.” She tapped the menu and skipped over a few more years. “This is L’Wir and Eshe at our last Christmas aboard the Enterprise. They chose to remain on the ship rather than transfer with us to DS9.” She paused as Nerys examined the picture, and then gave her an inquiring look. “I guess we haven’t mentioned them before?”

Nerys shook her head. “How were they related to you?”

“Technically they weren’t. We never did get around to doing any sort of formal ceremony, though L’Wir was designated a secondary family member with rights because he lived with us. Same as what your status was when you were living here. Eshe chose to maintain her own quarters, though she stayed over with us frequently.”

Nerys tilted her head. “I…don’t want to make assumptions. Are these just… _really_ good friends, or were you polyamorous?”

Keiko gave her a warm smile, glad to see she picked up on it. “In the case of Eshe, it was queerplatonic. She and I were very close and she often stayed overnight to cuddle in bed. But she was aro/ace, so that was all she was comfortable with. In L’Wir’s case, it was a sexual and romantic relationship with both Miles and I. He lived with us, in a separate bedroom.” She gazed fondly down at the picture. “L’Wir was the one who initially suggested the arrangement, as his planet’s culture is exclusively polyamorous. It was a bit of a rocky start, but worth it in the end. Miles and I felt so fulfilled by our relationships with L’Wir, and later Eshe. I was distraught when neither of them came with us to DS9.”

Keiko’s face crumpled and she felt her throat go tight. Nerys scooted over and put her hand on Keiko’s back, rubbing soothing circles. “Is that why you haven’t…added to your family since then? Still too painful?”

Keiko took a steadying breath, encouraged that she was asking practical questions with no judgmental tone. “It was at first. We spent a couple of years settling in and making sure that we really wanted to call this place home. For me especially, I was not thrilled to leave the Enterprise. You remember how I was at loose ends till I started the school. After that, the timing never seemed right. The school closed, and then I was on Bajor, and then I got pregnant. We had enough challenges that we didn’t have the energy to introduce anyone new. Plus it’s not easy to meet people who are open to poly, unless it’s already a part of their culture. Or they might be open to relationships with one or the other of us, but not interested in moving in with us. Julian for example.”

Nerys’s eyebrows shot up. “Doctor Bashir?”

Keiko nodded and smiled. “You’ve seen how close he is with Miles. They are very good friends, and occasionally more. Leeta was aware and fine with it when they were dating.”

Nerys’s cheeks reddened, and Keiko knew what was coming next. “So you don’t have a problem with Miles being with other people?”

Keiko shook her head. “And I am also free to develop my own relationships. The key is to have boundaries and communicate. We always want to meet and approve of the other partner ahead of time. And, as we found out when I was on Bajor, we prefer that the other not engage with someone else when we are apart for a lengthy period of time. Poor Miles felt terribly insecure when he heard about the attention I was getting from a colleague, and later felt bad about his reaction to it. Once we talked, I understood. He was feeling deprived of my company, and someone else getting all of it just made it hurt worse. That’s why communication is so important, we have to be honest about our feelings and not judge them.” 

Keiko shifted so she was more directly facing Nerys. “I know all about the sexual tension that was going on with you and Miles during the pregnancy. In my clumsy way I was trying to encourage it when I insisted he go with you to Bajor. Miles rightly pointed out that it was a bad time to initiate anything, with the baby on the way and your relationship with Shakaar. I apologize if we made you uncomfortable. It’s just…felt so right to have you with us. I-I couldn’t help but hope for more.”

Nerys blinked rapidly, her face going even more pink. “I’m just relieved to know I wasn’t betraying your trust after all.”

Keiko winced. “We talked a lot about whether to tell you then, but there was too much potential for it create even more tension. We couldn’t be sure that you wouldn’t disapprove or become even more uncomfortable.”

Nerys nodded slowly. “I can see how you might be concerned about that. Bajorans are traditionally _very_ monogamous. It got more complicated during the Occupation, especially so in the resistance cells. We rarely had the time or inclination for romance, certainly not for starting any families. If we were craving love and intimacy, we took it where we could get it. Most of the Bajorans have been returning to the old ways, but a few of us have a less rigid view of relationships. Edon…” she looked down and sighed. “He’s more of a traditionalist, as you could probably tell by his possessiveness during the pregnancy. He did not like Miles touching me at all. It was such a contrast to the way _you_ seemed so at ease with it. I should have guessed you two were poly. With Terrans you never know.”

Keiko reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’m so sorry it didn’t work out with you and Shakaar.”

Nerys shrugged one shoulder. “I need to choose people I have more in common with than ideals and spiritual beliefs. I think Edon and I only lasted this long because we never spent a lot of time with each other day to day. We would get together and talk about Bajor and have amazing sex, and then part ways without catching on to how much the both of us have changed in ways that are incompatible. When I went to Bajor without Miles…that extended time I spent with Edon opened our eyes. The drama surrounding Kirayoshi’s birth highlighted it even more.”

Her eyes shone with tears, and Keiko reached out and enfolded her into an embrace. Now that they were not in public, Nerys let go and allowed herself to be comforted. Keiko was pleased that she seemed to draw strength from her arms, curling into her body, her face tucked into Keiko’s neck. Keiko considered it a breakthrough. Even if their relationship didn’t evolve beyond this point, Nerys would know that she never need feel touch-deprived as long as Keiko was around.

Eventually Nerys pulled back and gazed up at her. Keiko rested her hand on the side of Nerys’s cheek. “You’ve been through breakups before, so you know I’m telling the truth when I say that it _will_ get better. The pain will lessen over time and you’ll eventually feel like yourself again. And when you’re ready, the right relationship will be out there…waiting for you.” She gave Nerys a look that she hoped conveyed her meaning without being pushy. She allowed her thumb to lightly caress Nerys’s cheekbone, and then she forced herself to take her hand away and rest it in her lap.

Nerys stared at her for a few moments, then pulled herself out of her daze and nodded slowly. She gave Keiko a bittersweet smile. “You’re right, of course. Thank you, Keiko. For your friendship, and generosity, and for all that you’ve…offered me.” She blinked twice, and her smile softened. “I should go, I have a laundry list of things still left to do with my day off. Including laundry.” She chuckled, and oh how Keiko wanted to kiss her at that moment. She settled for smiling warmly as they both stood up and said their goodbyes. 

*

Miles was pleasantly surprised when the day after Christmas, Dax invited him to lunch. They didn’t hang out as much anymore now that Dax was dating Worf. They chatted for a bit about an encoded Cardassian transmission that was picked up that morning. Dax told him how Odo suggested letting Garak take a listen, and they laughed together over the likelihood of Garak being entirely forthcoming. Then Dax asked how his Christmas went. Miles was quite pleased to share stories of Molly ripping open presents and Yoshi being too young to enjoy it, but he sure did look cute in his little red suit. He didn’t mention how pleased he and Keiko were that Nerys agreed to join them. Ever since she and Keiko had their heart-to-heart, Nerys has more often taken them up on their invitations to dine and spend time with the family. Miles also noticed that she’s become more open in her behavior around the two of them, touching Keiko frequently and giving him lingering glances. Fortunately she doesn’t do that in Ops or he’d be in trouble. 

Miles was torn between elation and concern that it was all happening so quickly. Nerys only just broke up with Shakaar. Keiko pointed out that Nerys was already feeling emotionally distant from Shakaar before the actual severing of the relationship occurred, and it was not uncommon for people to move on faster in those circumstances. Miles had to trust Keiko’s judgment, because he wasn’t sure he could trust his own when his libido was involved. 

It didn’t help that he felt some measure of frustration regarding Julian. He was a fantastic lover and Miles keenly missed their hours of playtime in the holosuite. He also missed their closeness. Julian seemed to still enjoy their sports activities. On Christmas Eve he was showing off his new racquet, but then pointedly refused Miles’s invitation to Christmas dinner. Miles asked if he was going to celebrate the holiday at all, and he’d shrugged. Julian always liked Christmas – in the past they enjoyed a good-natured competition about whose holiday traditions were better. Miles asked him in a low voice if this was because Nerys was going to be there, and Julian had looked at him coldly and said he couldn’t care less.

“Chief?” Miles blinked and looked up at Dax. He realized that he’d stopped talking. 

“I’m sorry, Dax, I guess I’ve got a lot on my mind. Listen, have you noticed anything different about Julian lately?”

Her brow wrinkled. “Now that you mention it, he has been a bit standoffish with me. I figured it was maybe the fact that things have gotten pretty serious with Worf. I mean, Julian’s feelings for me are way, way in the past, but this is the first long term relationship I’ve been in since joining the station, and it’s a colleague so…” She shrugged.

“Speaking of dating, do you know who it is he’s seeing?”

Dax’s eyebrows shot up. “He’s dating someone? That’s news to me.”

Miles huffed. “I only know because he said so, but he won’t say a peep about who it is. I think it’s…” He stopped, not sure how to explain his theory without bringing up the reason for it. 

Dax gave him a knowing look. “You think he’s lying so that he can hold you at arm’s length. You’re worried he’s jealous of the new baby and your growing closeness to Nerys.” Miles stared at Dax dumbfounded and she chuckled. “Chief, I’ve been through many lifetimes of interpersonal relationships. I’m observant and I know polyamory when I see it.”

Miles shook his head and chuckled. “Well, I’ll be damned. You’re a regular Sherlock Holmes. We weren’t trying to hide it or anything, there’s just never been a reason for it to come up.”

Dax gave him a sympathetic look. “And with some of the backward folks that roam through here, why advertise?”

Miles snorted. “You’re telling me. One time when Julian and I were headed into the holosuite, Quark offered to keep Keiko company. I threatened to punch the leer off his face.”

Dax smirked. “I’m impressed you stopped at threatening.”

Miles straightened up. “I’m a Starfleet officer, it’s against regs to rearrange a civilian’s face.”

Dax’s smirk widened. “Aaand, everyone in the bar would have known the reason for the punch within seconds.” 

Miles huffed again. “Honestly, at this point I wouldn’t care if the whole station gossiped about me and Julian, as long as there was _something_ to gossip about.”

Dax gazed at him with gentle eyes. “Look, I know that Julian is acting strangely right now, but it could have nothing to do with either one of us. Maybe he’s working through some things. There’s a lot about him that we don’t know, he’s always been super cagey about his past. Anytime I’ve asked about his childhood, he clams up. Could be something came up with his family and he doesn’t want to talk about it.”

Miles nodded slowly. It was true that he knew almost nothing about Julian’s life before Starfleet, and Miles respected his privacy. If Julian was having family problems, that would explain his reluctance to join them at Christmas. “You may be onto something… _Sherlock_. Alright then. We’ll give him some space, and if he wants to reach out, we’ll be there for him.”

*

A few days later, Miles finally learned what the hell had been going on with Julian. Turned out, it wasn’t Julian at all. The moment the Captain put two and two together after getting a transmission from the _real_ Bashir, Miles felt like he’d been punched in the gut. He’d had to keep his cool, address the crisis at hand. But as soon as it was over, and the changeling’s shuttle had blown up, Miles sat down heavily and felt himself shake from all the emotions flooding him. How had he not _known_? When exactly did the switch occur? Where has Julian been this whole time and what have those bastards put him through? Miles was also reeling from the revelation that _this_ was the reason for Julian’s rejection. It hadn’t actually been Julian pushing him away. Miles supposed he should be glad that he hadn’t fucked a changeling. Christ, what a mess.

Miles met the Defiant as it docked, paranoid about whether the new pylon security system had been sabotaged. His blood ran cold thinking about all the questions Fake Julian asked him about the changes he made. The crew made it on board the station safely. When Dax and Nerys entered the corridor, Nerys lunged towards him and wrapped her arms around him. “I’m so, so sorry about Julian, Miles.”

Miles hugged her back, feeling her concern and affection radiating into him. “At least he’s alive,” he choked. “They could have killed him…”

He felt Dax’s hand on his arm, squeezing. “I’ve just been informed that their shuttle’s already arrived and Worf and Julian are in the infirmary. I’m heading over there, now…” Her tone was slightly questioning, and he knew she was wondering if he wanted to go with her. A part of him wanted to stay in Nerys’s comforting arms, but he knew he was avoiding the inevitable. He pulled away from her and she gave him a warm smile, giving him an encouraging slap on the back.

Miles followed Dax to the infirmary, his gut churning more and more with every step. As they stepped inside, they saw Julian, already in a fresh uniform, running a tricorder over Worf. When Worf saw Dax, his gaze turned intense, and he batted Julian’s hand away. “Jadzia!”

Dax flew to him, crawling immediately into his lap. Julian stepped aside with a rueful sigh. “Guess I’ll finish my exam later.” He turned and saw Miles standing there. His expression became inscrutable. “Hello, you.”

Paralyzed by his remorse, Miles found himself standing at parade rest. He gave a short nod. “Julian. Welcome home.” His expression softened. “I’m really glad you’re okay.”

Julian’s gaze warmed. “I suppose you have many questions. And to answer your first one…four weeks. I was taken during the conference on Meezan IV.”

Miles stared. “ _Four weeks_? Are you telling me I’ve been…” he gave Julian a meaningful look, “ _hanging around_ with a Changeling for over a month?”

Julian’s eyebrows came up. “I suppose that answers one of _my_ questions. And you never suspected it wasn’t me?”

Miles hung his head. “No. The worst part is, the clues were right in front of me.” Christ, so many clues. So bloody obvious in hindsight. 

Julian tilted his head. “What clues?”

He didn’t know if he had it in him to tell Julian everything. He would realize just how thickheaded Miles had been. If he’d figured it out sooner and gone searching for him, Julian might not have languished as a prisoner for a whole _month_. He attempted to swallow down his shame. “Well, for one thing, he was a lot easier to get along with.” He gave Julian a sham of a smile, and Julian returned an exasperated eye roll.

Julian walked over and took his arm, pulling him towards one of the private examining rooms. “Miles, I have a little bit of an idea how things went down here. Once we were in range of the station, I downloaded all of the imposter’s private logs and skimmed over them. The changeling seemed to enjoy describing how they messed with everyone’s head. Seemed to think it funny to watch as people could tell something was wrong, but never making the connection. It was pretty clear to me that he had to avoid intimacy with you or else you would have figured it out for sure. From what I understand, the changelings choose to replace people that don’t have any personal attachments, because it’s harder to fake that kind of connection. I seemed like the perfect choice because I’d just broken up with Leeta, and they had no idea things with you were deeper than it appeared.”

Miles’s face crumpled. “I’m so sorry! You…I mean the changeling…they told me they were dating someone, and you know how I always promised I would back off if you had a partner who wanted to be exclusive. But you…I mean _they_ …were freezing me out emotionally as well. That should have been a huge red flag. Even if you were seeing someone, we still would have been friends. But there was just so much going on and I...”

Julian pulled him into a hug. “Miles, please stop with the guilt. I understand. You were focused on the baby. Wait… the baby!” He leaned back, his expression eager. “Surely he’s been born by now?” His expression turned sour. “Christ almighty, please tell me the imposter didn’t deliver him.”

Miles grinned. Seeing Julian like this, it was like the sun coming out from behind clouds that had obscured everything so gradually he hadn’t even realized what he was missing. “He’s _fine_. The Bajoran doula was the one who oversaw the birth. The changling was there at first, but then they fucked off somewhere, I dunno. We named our son Kirayoshi, and he is happy and healthy.”

Julian beamed, his warm brown eyes twinkling. “Kirayoshi, that’s _perfect_. I can’t wait to see him.”

Miles felt elated. “You’ll come to dinner tonight?” Julian nodded, and Miles pulled him back into a hug. “God, I’ve missed you. I might have thought you were still here, but my heart knew it wasn’t true. Maybe after dinner we can go have a pint and you can tell me what you’ve been through this past month.”

Julian pulled back slightly, and nuzzled his nose against Miles’s ear. “I think instead of a pint I might want to visit the holosuite. It’s been a very lonely month.”

Miles turned his head to capture his lips, melting into the kiss. He would pay extra for the best program Quark had to offer. Julian deserved the pampering, and Miles always took care of his own.

*

As Nerys entered the room, she smiled at all the glitzy decorations. Given her love for Bajor’s traditions, and her people’s persistence in carrying on with them, she could relate to how the Terrans held on to their own traditions even as far flung as they were. She’d enjoyed spending Christmas with the O’Briens, and now she was joining in the celebration of the Terran New Year. She found it rather amusing, considering that they were many light years from Earth and DS9 didn’t run on the same time schedule. Sisko explained that they chose whichever time zone on the planet coincided with DS9’s version of midnight. Everyone in the room would be ‘ringing in the new year’ at the same time as the inhabitants of Australia.

Miles and Keiko hadn’t arrived yet, still waiting on their babysitter. Nerys spotted Julian and made her way over to him. “Doctor Bashir, I presume?”

He gave her a rueful smile. “I am indeed the totally real and not at all fake Julian Bashir, doctor of medicine.”

She chuckled. “We’re all really glad that you’re back. And we all feel pretty badly that we didn’t clock the imposter sooner.”

He huffed out a laugh. “None so more than Miles. But he more than made up for it.” He waggled his eyebrows.

Nerys blushed and bit her lip. “Speaking of Miles…and I understand if this is too personal to answer. I’ve been wondering what made you decide to have the kind of relationship with him that you have, where you maintain your own separate life, and not…” She gestured with her hand, not sure how to word it.

“Not go full O’Brien?” He smirked as she rolled her eyes and nodded. “You know, most people think that when it comes to romantic love, you have to go all in or it doesn’t count. Like somehow I don’t really love someone if our life goals don’t exactly match up. I do think I’ll get married and have children at some point, but I’m in no hurry to have or – in this case - be part of a family. I like being able to prioritize myself right now, but I don’t believe that means I can’t have a meaningful relationship. Miles is perfect for me in that respect. He already has a family and doesn’t pressure me to be a part of it. We’re content to love each other as we are.”

Nerys tilted her head thoughtfully. “Does that mean that some day when you start a family, you and Miles will go back to being just friends?”

Julian frowned. “I don’t know what will happen. I hope my future partner would be understanding of my relationship with Miles, but it’s not something I can guarantee. That’s the other reason I haven’t fully integrated into their family. I can’t give them the promise of permanence they deserve from someone moving in with them. I don’t want to be another L’Wir, where the O’Briens had to make the difficult choice of whose career took priority.”

Nerys sighed deeply, feeling a tremor in her nerves. “You’re absolutely right. Anyone joining their family should be ready to commit to them fully. I have a lot to think about.”

Julian gave her an amused look. “You know, you don’t have to make such a monumental decision right away. You can date them first, just like with any other new relationship.”

Nerys barked out a laugh. “Fair point. I guess I didn’t consider that because we’ve done everything so backwards. I moved in with them, had their baby, then moved out, and now I’m thinking about sex. _All the time_.” She swallowed hard, then frowned. “This isn’t some post-baby hormonal surge, is it?”

Julian grinned. “Nope. The O’Briens are just that irresistible.” He waggled his eyebrows again, and Nerys felt her skin prickle. 

It was at that moment the O’Briens walked in. Keiko’s hair was up in a bun, emphasizing the curve of her neck, and her dress was some sort of diaphanous material that rippled like water around her legs. Miles was wearing a shirt that hugged his torso, showing off the muscles that his uniform usually hid. They really were that irresistible. And not just sexually. Every moment she spent with them, and with Molly and Yoshi, Nerys felt more and more like she was at home.

Ever since Keiko dropped the bombshell that she and Miles were polyamorous, it was like all the things making her feel depressed and anxious melted away. Her intense attraction to Miles. Her fantasies about doing things to Keiko with the strap-on collecting dust in the back of her closet. The constant ache to spend more time with the baby she carried and fell hard for. The way living in their home had seemed so right, and how her current quarters felt cold all the time no matter how much she adjusted the heat. The moment Keiko hinted that they were waiting for her to be ready to come back, she stopped yearning and started anticipating.

But Julian was right, she owed it to the O’Briens to be absolutely certain this was what she wanted. She couldn’t let the loneliness from her breakup with Shakaar and separation anxiety about Yoshi drive such an important decision. She would take his suggestion and date them first. She would also go visit the Kenda Shrine next time she was on Bajor and see what the Prophets had to say.

*

“Four…three…two…one…HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!” Sisko’s face was gleeful as he shouted out the cheer, pulling one of the poppers so that a shower of glitter and tiny streamers shot into the air. 

Nerys laughed in delight. Rom moved through the crowd with trays of sparkling wine, but before she could snag a flute, she felt a tap on the shoulder. She looked over at Keiko, who was giving her a suggestive smile. “May I?” Nerys remembered then that it was traditional to kiss in the new year. She felt a flutter in her stomach as she nodded, so eager that she didn’t even wait for Keiko to make the first move. She swooped in and pressed her lips to Keiko’s, softly whimpering in relief as she put her hands on either side of Keiko’s head and increased the pressure. Keiko’s hands curved around her waist, pulling her closer. Nerys trembled as she felt her tongue slide against her lower lip. 

Eventually Nerys pulled back, gazing at the blissful expression on Keiko’s face. “Happy New Year.”

Keiko’s smile was sunny. “It will be indeed.” She bit her lip, and nodded over her shoulder. Nerys looked around, and saw Miles regarding them fondly, his head tilted. From the way his lips were slightly swollen, he’d already been thoroughly kissed by Keiko or Julian or both. 

Her heart pounding, Nerys stepped up to Miles. He put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing slightly. She felt heat lance through her at the reminder of all the times he’s had his hands on her during the pregnancy, and how they both wanted those hands to be doing more. He pulled her gently to him and Nerys leaned her head back, closing her eyes as he softly brushed his lips against hers once…twice, and then finally tilting his head to claim her mouth. She wound her arms around his neck, pressing herself against him. She had to restrain herself from hopping up to circle her legs around his waist. As much as she wanted to climb him like a tree, they _were_ at a party.

They finally broke the kiss, breathless as they laughed at Keiko’s squeal of delight. They shifted so that their arms opened and Miles pulled Keiko in for a hug. After a few moments, Keiko poked out an arm and beckoned with it. “Get in here, Julian!” He chuckled as they made room for him, and soon they were all hugging. 

When they eventually ended the hug, Nerys looked around and noticed they had an audience. Sisko’s eyebrows were raised, but his expression was fond. Jadzia was tearful and smiling, like she’d just finished reading something sentimental, Worf giving her a confused look. Odo had his arms folded, but his gaze was knowing. Nerys could tell he was thinking about their conversation regarding Yoshi. She gave a slight nod, and he returned it before pivoting to Quark, growling something no doubt menacing in his ear for the way he was leering over at the four of them.

She chuckled and shook her head, then turned back to the O’Briens. With one hand she finally snagged a flute of sparkling wine. She placed the other hand on the back of Keiko’s graceful neck, stroking softly with her fingers. Keiko looked over at her, her eyes alight as she mouthed, _I adore you_. In that moment, she felt more cherished than she ever had in her life. She lifted the flute in her hand, and whispered, “To the future.”

**Author's Note:**

> I love gushing about Star Trek on my tumblr @spockfascinated and on twitter @jadziastone


End file.
